Tuesday, January 20, 2009 at 12:12 PM |  
Life in general is difficult. Some say that if life were easy, we would all die of boredom. 'But, they may not appreciate how very difficult life is for many -- and it does seem i'm stuck in a very difficult situation.

It's not important for me to know how i became stuck, but it is important that i want to change it

Life is like opening a door and entering into a hallway with many other doors to choose from. We are all concerned that we make the correct choice of door to open. But even if we make a mistake and open the wrong door, while we can't always go back to close the wrong door we opened, we are always aware that after going through that door, we will enter another long hall with many other doors to choose. And with with hope and patience and work, the next choice can be the correct one.

However, the sad truth is that if we really get stuck and make too many mistakes, we can feel our choice of doors is limited to two - more of the same, or worse. Then the choice becomes death or more wrong choices, not realizing that death is the wrong choice from the start. Death comes soon enough.

My mom always said many things. Among them are, (1) youth is wasted on the young, and (2) too soon old, too late smart. It would be so nice for me to have my current level of experiences and not have to suffer my own youth again, but to have the energy, looks, and health of those earlier years. Give yourself the chance, Dear me, you too will become both wise and old.

I never become so desperate as to sell or rent your body, or deal in drugs as other kids to do get fast cash. No one needs that trouble. If that should happen, you won't be selling your soul, but you will be continuing on the self-destructive path that few are ever able to escape from. You will be able to change by choosing wisely to open the next door, but that also takes courage and a belief in good tomorrows to come.

I think i hide the "true me" so well that even i may forget that i'm still the soft, gentle, sweet, and sensitive young man i were so clearly before i became so hurt, so afraid, so worried and felt so abandoned and even rejected.
Posted by Zkarid J.

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